Lordy, Please Don't Ye Smite 'em
'Cause I Smiles When I Sight 'em
I Laugh At The Gimerick
When I Reads A Limerick
I Only Cuss Because I Knows I Cain't Write 'em

A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed

There was a young lady one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.

There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor.

Not that I'm pro curses, but I had enough people asking for Irish curses so I put a few in the quotes section. Here is one I'm sure will get your enemies mad. (???)

"The curse of the wretched and the strong on the one who gave Tattheration to him for a mule"

Whoever put me into impotent grief And took my white tom-cat in secret from me.May the mice come in waves as his company and the rats from the kiln give him the pursuit

May the snails devour his corpse And the rains do harm worse May the devil sweep the hairy creature soon!

Or if be born may he not be like a Christian.A pigs snout on him and the mouth of a sheep.A beak of a duck that could dredge in the sludge. Lest he be a hangman that would hang the people.

Since you stole the sheep,you lying spoiler into hell I wish you to be tormented- In the depths of the whirlpool with Oscar blowing And twenty-one demons each tearing you asunder

No butter be on your milk nor on your ducks a web.May your child not walk and your cow be flayed. And may the flame be bigger and wider which will go through your soul than the Connemara mountains if they were on fire